Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Love island tears

Tears for Sophie Anderton, everyone's favourite former troubled Gossard model, as ITV1's 'Love Island' kicked off for its second series.

Anderton just couldn't stop crying. Over anything. First despite packing 30 bikinis the boys passed her over and left her the island's only singleton as Streets star Leo picked kiss-and-tell blonde Alicia Douvall.

Not only did she not get picked for the…errr flirting team, but she was given the role of housekeeper. Cooking and cleaning are alien to Sophie as she quickly made clear.

"I don’t even have to clean my own house. I am so fucked off. This is my penalty for yesterday. They’re going to have a field day on this. I came here and was confident and now I feel like shit and I don’t want to be like this."

And whatever you do, don't ask her for a cup of tea. When ballroom dancing lothario Brendan Cole asked her to put the kettle on she quickly put him in his place.

"You’re a wanker Brendan. I just want to get out of here."

Soph, love wrong show. You've already been on 'I'm a Celebrity Get me out of here'.

It wasn't just Anderton crying - the contestants came over like the England squad on a bad night against Portugal. Former 'Hollyoaks' star Lee "Bombhead" Otway was at it,. although he was crying because everyone says they like him.

Then Brendan cried after Shane Lynch asked him about being macho.

“I’m very in touch with my feminine side,” a breathy Brendan sobbed

Oh boy. This show has to be a hit for ITV after a dismal run at the World Cup and little else in the schedule to excite.

Although it’s a very simple formula (good looking people flirt and snog on a beach) it is curiously watchable.

More so than 'Big Brother' of late, which has overdone it with the number of housemates this year and possible fixes.

This morning its being reported that Max Clifford "groomed" Golden Ticket winner Suzie. Oh dear.

Channel 4 seems to know it might have a battle on its hands and is obviously looking for a strategy to take on lingerie models in bikinis.

The answer this week seems to be to go postal and put all the housemates up for eviction after new house mate Jayne started talking about the outside world and got everyone punished (except herself).

With so many tears shed on the first night in 'Love Island' you just know that there are floods and floods to come.

Update: Ouch. Talk about sand in your eyes. ITV1 pulled in just 3.2m viewers for 'Love Island' last night and a 15% share against 'Big Brother's' 4.6m and a 21% audience share. Oh dear.

The BBC's 'Fools on horses' did better than bikini island pulling in 4.1m. I'm torn though. Celebrities falling off horses or sunning themselves?

But seriously, I really thought that 'Love Island' would do better, but what do I know (I swear that's a rhetorical question)?

'Love Island' sponsor Bounty are not going to be best please with that result for the opening night and I imagine there will be phone calls today:

"You promised us..."

Over on C4 the Carphone Warehouse must be rubbing its hands together at another successful year, which god knows how many weeks in is still pulling in the viewers by the bucket load.

That said, 'Love Island' took a while to warm up last year. All it takes is a few histrionics to pull the viewers in. More tears please.


At 10:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

And of course the really interesting thing about all this is how the carphone warehouse and bounty want to be associated with this sort of thing.

At 10:26 AM, Anonymous the online pixie said...

So farewell then
Lea from Big Brother.
Although you were not
Naturally big breasted
You were always
A big personality.

Of course the presence
Of all these new housemates
Has revealed
Just how totally exhausted this format is.

You, Lea, left at the right time.

At 10:27 AM, Anonymous The big old wanker said...

Is it just me or has Gordon started using the word 'wanker' an awful lot on this blog?

At 12:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice work Gordon on updating the whole marketing angle. We love you Gordie!

At 4:45 PM, Anonymous wasted in media sales said...

Wouldn't love island be better if it were called 'glove island' and they all had to wear thick woollen gloves for the duration of their stay on the island?


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