Monday, June 12, 2006

Big Brother fix

What a sham. The whole Big Brother Golden Ticket competition looks to me like a fix. Just the kind of manipulation one would expect from an Orwellian invention.

New entrant Suzie has auditioned for the show before, she was a guinea pig trial contestant in Big Brother 5, she was in the final auditions for this year's show and she already knew four of the contestants -- although Channel 4 asked her to keep quiet about this.

I have to admit I watched it on Friday. As Aisleyne picked a ball from a lottery machine it virtually flew into her hands. Lucky number 14 was Suzie's number and, surprise surprise, she is another boob-enhanced, reality-TV wannabe.

Big Brother has descended into theatre, with contestants auditioning and being invited back by producers. They knew all about Suzie and seemed to want her to play some kind of role in the house.

I wonder if all the balls in the lottery machine had number 14 on them, they were spinning so much it was hard to see. Luckily, the 43-year-old who strips for fun in pubs (why oh why?) found that on entering the house the golden clothes fitted her. How handy is that?

She wasted no time in stirring it up, inviting half the house to dinner but leaving out Grace, Imogen, Nikki and Lisa who started to lay into her.

Grace, best known for wearing little and snogging the empty vessel that is Mikey, complained that about Suzie's work as a promotions model: "They just stand around in bikinis and have men ogling at them."

She had a point, but really someone should acquaint her with the whole pot/kettle black thing.

No one is saying if KitKat got its money worth. That all depends on how much it paid, but it does seem (even if it's not the case) that the competition which at the outset was billed as something rather fun and unpredictable with all the overtones of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory failed to live up to its promise.

It's almost too much to believe that someone already part of the "Big Brother family" turns out to be the Golden Ticket winner, but in Channel 4's defence who else but a fake boobed media wannabe would want to be on the show?


At 10:59 AM, Anonymous disappointed BB fan said...

Davina did say the machine had been checked by an independent adjudicator but what does this mean? where do these people come from?

Personally, I think it does look very suspicious but Channel4 wouldn't risk conning the British public like that. Also, KitKat wouldn't be too pleased about it either.

It all just adds to the mess of Big Brother this year, I don't think its made for good viewing at all

At 11:07 AM, Anonymous Patrick Ivor Davids said...

It's certainly catering to the lowest common denominator this year more than any other year.

Surely though Kit Kat knew what they were getting involved with from the off? It's hardly a shock to their brand managers that the winner's going to be a cosmetically enhanced 'model' type who's been trying to get onto the show from the year dot.

You'd have thought the person responsible for Kitkat's marketing strategy would've read Charlie and the Chocolate Factoy and would've known the sort of people who ended up winning golden tickets. It's a wonder Mike TV isn't in the house.

At 11:22 AM, Anonymous bonnie tyler said...

is it just me or is Pete becoming a bit irritating now?

glyn to win.

At 11:25 AM, Anonymous alan hanson said...

why aren't there any world cup stories on here gordon?

surely you can find a tenuous link to the marketing power of players?

why not mention the great northern rock ads featuring jonnie wilkinson, steve harminson and michael owen? that's relevant isn't it?

and what about some sort of reference to the marketability of beckham's latest hairdo?

At 11:26 AM, Blogger Gordon said...

Glyn, Glyn???? Passed over in the search for intelligent life.

Come on its Pete and Nikki. What a couple.

At 11:40 AM, Anonymous Nye Bevin said...

Surely they're ALL passed over in the search for intelligent life. It's hardly a Mensa convention in there is it?!?

Glyn's sweet though. Rather like Cameron (not Dave the Chameleon but the Scottish winner from BB2).

Nikki is common as muck and has the misfortune of having a terrible personality and a god awful face. Not only did she fall down the ugly tree hitting every branch on the way down but when she'd landed she dusted herself down, walked over to the tree and banged her head against the bark repeatedly. She's vile.

Whilst it was fun laughing at the mentally ill for the first couple of weeks surely now we're all getting a bit bored with Pete? He's been edited to make him the favourite but how long can this last?

No, Glyn has the natural charm required to go all the way. And he can sing the Welsh national anthem which is always a Brucey bonus.

At 11:47 AM, Anonymous Suzie's no Floozie said...

1. Nikki might be irritating and I would throttle her if i lived with her BUT she does have a mighty fine body (despite the face) so I'd give her one (a vote that is)

2. I agree with the above on Pete - his popularity has peaked and I can't really see how else BB can exploit him so the fickle BB public will no doubt be booing him soon

3. I'm going to be controversial and say Suzie to win. she really wants to be there and doesn't swear, smoke or irritate me too much so i'll give her two (of which one is votes)

At 11:50 AM, Blogger Gordon said...

Sleazy stripper Suzie, controversial. That would annoy the other munchkins no end so has to be worth on that basis.

At 12:01 PM, Anonymous the king of the ewoks said...

Munchkins or umpa lumpers?

At 12:36 PM, Anonymous Jermaine Defoe said...

Godron should England deploy Gerrard in the hole?

At 12:54 PM, Anonymous topical trevor said...

i'm surprised Heather Mills McCartney didn't go in. I've heard if people want a hole filling then she's first in the queue


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