Monday, May 15, 2006

Milking it

Channel 4 looks like it will try to equal Five's pig-pleasuring episode on 'Big Brother' this year with the introduction of a cow when the housemates enter on Thursday. No, not one of the housemates, an actual cow.

The cow is replacing the chickens on 'Big Brother 7', so having seen Rebecca Loos pleasuring a pig on its minor celebrity fest 'The Farm', we will now get to see fame-hungry Big Brother contestants milking it for all their worth udders and all.

Apparently, the chickens are out because of bird flu, which seems a bit harsh. We could have had a TV version of 'Outbreak', except without Dustin Hoffman, Renee Russo and Cuba Gooding Jnr.

With the chickens gone, no more will we get scenes like Darren Ramsey (cast your minds back: he came third in the first series) who loved the birds so much he went on to score a £100,000 deal with Chicken Tonight before promptly disappearing.

Apparently, housemates will actually have to drink the milk that that the cow produces and will be denied milk on their weekly shopping list.

Be sure to watch out for guaranteed hilarity, as some of the 11 housemates will no doubt display Jade Goody levels of insight and be shocked to learn that milk really does comes from cows.

BB executive producer Phil Edgar Jones said the cow idea was one C4 had wanted to do for sometime, but earlier plan had been killed off by foot and mouth.

With booze free flowing, there is bound to be some Kurt and Ram ('Heathers') style efforts at cow tipping, as one housemate tries to convince the other housemates that, yes, you really can tip sleeping cows.

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