Monday, April 10, 2006

Mentally

A huge new media cult has been uncovered and it's frankly something of a worry. At its head is Peter Hill.

You know what I'm talking about, it's the Daily Express. It's one of our favourite guess-the-front-page games in the office. The default answer is, of course, Princess Diana, and on any given day you have a really good chance of finding her on the cover, along with the same story as every day with the words rearranged.

It must be the only paper in the country that has a dead royals correspondent, which even for the British tabloids obsessed with the royals is taking things to extremes.


 
I'm worried that they've kidnapped most of the readers under the orders of Peter (as Private Eye calls him - "mentally") Hill. It makes Scientology look like...well people who harmlessly worship a dead science fiction author.

Kidnapped them and did a mass brain washing. That can possibly be the only reason why these people keep buying the Daily Diana, because they seem to enjoy reading the same story week in and week out.

The only other equivalent in British newspapers is possibly the Indescribablyboring, which thrills its readers each day with great frontpage graphics (I like the paper just not the frontpage). Both papers seem to have parted company with the rest of the newspaper business possibly because they fail to understand the first part of that very word: NEWS.

UPDATE: Thanks for Mailwatch tip, I'd not seen that. Someone has posted something amusing over there about the Express front page today that's worth repeating:

That's a swan right? A freaking swan- DO they not know!? Bird flu: symptoms may include crass art.

3 Comments:

At 1:04 PM, Blogger Stephen Newton said...

You should check out Mail Watch, which also keeps an eye on the Express.

Here you'll see that while the Express does obsess with Diana, it tends to restrict these front page stories to Mondays.

 
At 6:12 PM, Blogger Gareth said...

I think you are going over the top, not all Express Headlines are Diana related.

After all they need some room for the stories about how bad it is House prices are just getting higher. Not forgeeting those which tell us that we are the the verge of a housemarket slump and how bad that is.

 
At 2:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's just a pity we can't see more of Diana on Brand Republic...

 

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